“Days were many, where I was kept awake with thoughts about the worst outcomes possible”
"The last few months of my life was filled with sleepless nights, low self esteem, insecurities, worry and a lot of self-awareness.
I’m usually big on self-love. But what’s the use if it’s all verbal and not through actions? This realization hit me hard last December when I noticed how my workaholic behavior had affected my health. A young mind always likes to believe that they are healthy but it’s really important to check the extent to which one puts stress on it, physically and mentally. 6 months back I had a really bad throat infection which then led to a series of other diagnosis. Being a singer and a person who does a lot of talking, sore throat or an infection is very common. But little did I know this was much worse than a simple old sore throat. I realized that my poor eating and sleeping habits caused trouble to the one thing that I really love about myself, my voice. I was diagnosed with GERD, chronic pharyngitis, and sinusitis. All these led to swollen and injured throat muscles and I had a completely strained voice. Speaking became so difficult and painful.
I did realise that this did not happen overnight. It was the result of not taking proper care of my health for a very long time. Anyway, lesson learnt. But is it that easy always? The consequences took a toll on how I looked at myself. This pushed me to a level that I had to quit talking for a long time. It’s very important to rest the part of the body that’s injured. But this really worried me, because some days the pain felt unbearable, especially every morning when I woke up. This instilled the fear to sleep. Days were many, where I was kept awake with thoughts about the worst outcomes possible. This caused a lot of frustration and influenced my moods a lot. I felt constantly irritable because of the pain, and the constant reminder of not being able to sing through social media stressed me out a lot. It was a literal stress cycle.
I believe I’m more known as a singer to many in my social circle, and not being able to do that during that point was hard. I had to stop my classes, refuse gigs and had to completely stay silent. It would be a lie if I said i didn’t try singing during the rest period. But it was a conscious effort to see if I was feeling any better. But it didn’t help much, because I noticed how my voice was raspy and I had lost vocal range and stamina. It really affected me so much to a point I started comparing myself with my old audios and felt bad that I wasn’t able to achieve the same perfection. I know it isn’t a fair comparison given the situation, but for months the medications weren’t working and I was losing hope. In fact, I’m still not completely over the pain, though it’s been drastically reduced.
This change involved a lot of lifestyle changes. Slowly I changed my daily routine and brought a proper structure that included eating and sleeping on time, regular physical exercise and taking up less stress. I started slowly exercising my vocal chords and my throat muscles to build that range and stamina. I haven’t achieved it yet, but I’m putting my constant effort towards it.
Building this hope was a little difficult. Music is my huge distraction, but I had to keep myself distracted from music for a while, because the immediate instinct was to sing, which I tried to refrain from as much as possible. But I wouldn’t have been able to deal with this if not for my support system, my parents and friends. They were there through every irritable episode, thoughts and complaints. Especially my mom, who made sure that somehow I get a good night sleep every day.
I always believed this is the age I can do maximum work, which is true, but nothing is worth more at the cost of one's health. Like my mom often says "Sila vishayam pattadhan puriyum"(some things are better understood once experienced.]
Bhagyashri Sridhar
Bhagyashri Sridhar is a psychology graduate based in Chennai who is currently pursuing the PG diploma in Expressive Arts Therapy. She is into performing arts and singing is her passion.
“The fear of being confined to home started gripping me… I felt that I had reached the absolute ebb.
"Since my childhood, I have been immersed in creative arts- be it dance, music or craft- it helped me discover my innate potential. At 10, I saw myself as a professional Dancer or a Singer.
But life has its own plans! At 13, I lost a very close maternal figure to a fatal illness and that kindled an aspiration in me to be of medical service to society. And I ended up being a Homoeopathic doctor
I started assisting senior practitioners and alongside began my own small practice. But my self-doubting mind kept saying that I wasn’t good enough for this and should have probably stuck to what came naturally to me - dance and music.
That is when I was introduced to Arts Based therapy (ABT) that uses art forms like music, drama and painting for therapy. Voila! I found the perfect match of my hobbies and profession. I continued to practice Homoeopathy and started using ABT for children with special needs.
And then another twist! I fell in Love with Akshay in 2013! Within 6 months, I got married & we moved to Cape Town, South Africa. This seemed like the worst time to move while my clinical practice was picking up! But I was excited to learn about a different culture & people and took the leap.
But things were difficult. In a country known for its crime, our mobility was very restricted for the first few months. From running a 10-hour clinic, I moved to no work. My application for registration as a Homeopath was rejected. The fear of being confined to home started gripping me. I remember
weeping in the lawyer’s office, totally lost. I felt that I had reached the absolute ebb.
But WHY GIVE UP?
I picked myself up. I was determined to make the most of my time there. We sent my resume randomly to 50 schools & medical institutes to apply as a therapist. I received a reply from 2 schools and started volunteering as a therapist. This phase gave me 0 earnings but gifted me with a wealth
of experience – right from learning to drive independently across the city and meeting kids of such
different backgrounds in unsafe settlement areas. I also started helping close friends there with Homeopathy occasionally. After 4 years in the mother city, we decided to move back to India in 2017.
I again felt the jitters about resuming my Homoeopathic practice. As an experiment, it was my husband’s brainchild to use Social Media to reach out to people who needed medical help.
That is when our startup– “ASK” – Ask Shruti Kamath was born. We started offering Homoeopathy, Therapy
and Wellness digitally and people across the world just loved it from Day 1! Since then, there has
been no looking back. Today we have over 2000 clients across 30 countries and I feel blessed to be a
part of each of their lives.
In every Calamity, there lies Opportunity. I am happy I never gave up."
